Parental controls for divorced or co-parenting families

Divorced parents having kids usually face difficulty in setting screen time rules for their kids. This is because, owing to different rules kids find it difficult to understand what to follow or what not. In this regard parental controls prove beneficial but instead of getting help from technical controls, parents try to create some basic shared rules for kids.

You don’t worry this whole guide is specially designed for divorced parents/co-parenting families or kids aged 7-17 who struggle in creating healthier digital habits. Keep reading!

Why inconsistency often creates more problems than strictness?

Co-parents usually share responsibilities to raise their kids, no matter whether they live apart. Both usually want their kids to have healthy screen time, howevere inconsistent digital rules just create confusion. This is becasue when expectations are different from each parent, kids become unsure which rules to follow leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.

Let’s dive deeper and have a close look at some common reasoning that help you explain the issue!

One parent has strict screen time rules and the other doesn’t

It’s usually seem that one parent enforces strict screen time rules like limiting gaming/social media to fixed hours while the other pays little to no attention. Some usaly add no restrictions to make their kids happy with them, but this difference in expectations confuses the kids.

You know, according to Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory kids basically learn behavior by observing the consequences. It means if they see that one parent is giving them freedom and nothing negative happens there. They automatically conclude by themselves that there is no need to follow stricter rules. You know if such things continue, then kids begin to adopt lenient behavior, leading to conflicts between both homes.

Your child uses different devices in different homes

Likewise, when kids move between two households, they happen to use different devices in each environment, right?

Though kids get their source of entertainment at both homes but, the parental control settings on such different devices are different. You know, kids take advantage of such differences and switch devices to access blocked apps.

However, it doesn’t mean now you’ll try to match the devices; instead, focus on building shared family expectations. When kids find consistent rules across all, they are more likely to follow them without any misunderstanding.

Parents disagree about monitoring

When kids experience different levels of monitoring, they begin to compare the households. You mostly hear statements like Mom let me do it, ” ” Dad doesn’t add such restrictions or in Dad’s home, say Dad doesn’t care. However, such conflicts don’t mean that one is wrong or right. No doubt both want good for kids but in this race, they mix the concept of fairness and consistency.

We’re not saying you should match all of your household rules but at least both can agree on setting some basic screen time rules. For instance, you can make simple rules like homework first before entertainment, no screen use before bedtime and more like these.

What children need most in divorced families?

Kids of divorced families usually need the following key elements!

• Consistent expectations for basic routines like screen time, sleep & school responsibilities
• Though they are seperated but kids think it’s not their fault, so for mental peace, both must have clear yet calm communication at least in front of kids.
• Want emotional support from both they should be pressured to take sides and say bad to the other parent.
• A peace of mind that their parents are still working together in their interest.

A step-by-step plan for creating consistent rules across two homes

Now you might be wondering how its possible to create consistent rules in a co-parenting situation. Stay calm! Below is the detailed step-by-step guideline helping you achieve the goal with minimal effort!

If you want to maintain consistent screen time rules across devices in both households, a parental control tool can help simplify the process. In this regard, you can try installing FlashGet Kids that offers cross-platform compatibility, allowing co-parents to apply the same screen time limits, bedtime schedules, and app restrictions across multiple devices. This can indeed help reinforce agreed-upon rules and provide kids with a more consistent digital experience no matter in which home they are in.

Comparison or alternatives: what works better than constant monitoring

Remember! Constant monitoring isn’t the solution to guide your kids’ digital experiences; there are some other alternative practical tools that co-parents can go for!

• Keep everyone on the same schedule: Both parents should use a shared calendar with homework hours, extracurricular activities & sleeping schedules. This way, kids would know what to know no matter in which home they are in.
• Try to create device-free bedtime zones: You should also make a clear rule to put aways all screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime. Otherwise, late-night scrolling on screens disrupts melatonin (sleep-awake cycle hormone) production, leading to an inconsistent sleeping schedule.
• Set app limits instead of watching everything: Instead of keeping an eye on kids’ every digital activity, parents can set a daily time limit for every social media app or game.
• Give preference to open conversation: If you notice that your kids are using devices late at night, instead of spying on them, you should openly talk to them. This creates a trust bond and they would be more likely to listen to your advice.
• Seek third-person when parent’s don’t agree: If one parent wants strict rules while the other prefers freedom, then a third-party role comes in. Such a parenting counselor can try to compromise both sides to reach a conclusion that works best in kids’ interests.

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