Neglectful parenting style fails but how parents should avoid it

Imagine a child who is eagerly waiting for a story before sleeping but instead receives no attention at all. This is one example of neglectful parenting characterized by emotional and physical unavailability. Though when compared to the authoritarian style of parenting, this may appear to be liberating for the child, the impact that it has on the development of children is quite far-reaching.

In this article, we will explain how lack of parental care affects a child’s development and provide you with advice on how to become closer to your child.

What is neglectful parenting?

Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is a kind of parenting where parents fail to adequately respond to the child’s needs and emotional state.

This involves more than just offering kids food and shelter. Here’s a breakdown:

• Emotional distance. Emotionally unavailable parents offer little care, comfort, or concern for the child’s feelings. They may not listen to their child or take them seriously regarding their emotions or issues.
• Lack of supervision. These parents rarely supervise their children, thus allowing the children to easily get into accidents, practice bad behaviors, and fall into the wrong company.
• Inconsistent or absent guidance. Inattentive parents rarely if ever establish rules or behavioral expectations that their children need to follow. Often, children do not get the guidance and help that they should get to understand what is acceptable or not.
• Neglect of physical needs. Extremely negligent parents can deny the child even such fundamental needs as proper health care when the child is ill, feeding him or her with quality food, and dressing the child adequately.

Parental deprivation might significantly impact the child’s physical and emotional well-being as well as his or her accomplishments in the future.

What are the disadvantages of negligent parenting?

Bad parenting fosters different issues that have a negative effect on the progression of a child in various facets.

Let’s delve into the specific harms it inflicts on a child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development:

Emotional Development:

• Low Self-Esteem. Lack of affection and limited or no contact with the caregiver makes children feel unwanted and unappreciated.
• Emotional Dysregulation. Children who do not receive parental attention, in some cases, have great difficulties in understanding, and controlling emotions. And as a result, they can often become aggressive, anxious, or withdrawn.
• Attachment Issues. The child is unable to develop healthy attachments and develop trust in other people hence becoming socially awkward and withdrawing from people.

Social development:

• Poor social skills. Parents who neglect their children may not give the child a chance to learn how to be sociable or observe how other people should be socially. The results can be social dysfunction, problems in making friends and comprehending social signs.
• Trust issues. Failure to develop a reliable attachment with a parent may hinder a child from developing trust in other people. This can make it hard for them to ever have healthy relationships as they progress in life.
• Isolation and loneliness. Being neglected in relationships may also cause the person to withdraw socially. They may find it hard to make friends and some may feel like they don’t fit in or are rejected by their peers.

Cognitive development:

• Academic difficulties. If the children are deprived of parental care and leadership then they will have poor academic performance in school.
• Delayed development. Some children that are neglected may fail to develop at certain stages in their development like learning to speak or even learning how to walk at the right age.

Why do some mothers neglect their child?

The primary caretakers are usually the mothers, though there may be various reasons why some of these mothers abandon their kids.

Here are several factors that can contribute to a mother neglecting her child:

• Unplanned pregnancy or unpreparedness. A woman who never expected to have a child or feels trapped with the responsibility of child-rearing may lack feelings for the child.
• Mental health issues. Certain signs of depression, anxiety, or any kind of mental health disorder can compromise the ability of a mother to look after herself or the child.
• History of abuse. If the mother herself was abused, then she might develop certain attachment issues or lack good maternal parenting skills over her own children.
• Social isolation or lack of support. Lack of support from family, friends, or any social services makes her feel that she is unable to provide for the child anymore.
• Financial difficulties. Poor living standards cause much pressure and can get to a stage where one cannot feed or clothe his family, hence neglect.

Such women might not be bad mothers but they can be facing struggles that make it difficult for them to be good mothers to their children.

What are the characteristics of neglectful parenting?

Negligent parenting can be defined as a type of parenting in which the parents fail to provide care for the child in terms of social, emotional as well as physiological needs.

Here’s a breakdown of the common behaviors and attitudes associated with neglectful parents:

• Limited affection. Negligent parents do not show affection, they do not always hug, kiss, or say I love you to their children.
• Dismissive of emotions. They may either dismiss the child’s experience or even categorically refuse to acknowledge that the child feels sad, angry, or scared.
• Lack of interest. These people rarely seem to care for the child’s routine experiences or events, interests, or what he or she has been achieving.
• Unmonitored activities. Neglectful parents fail in their role to properly monitor their children and will let their children stay alone at any time of the day or night.
• Lax rules and boundaries. They set no kind of boundary at all or one that the children can comprehend, and thus offer little or no structure to facilitate acceptable conduct.
• Limited discipline. Parents do not punish their children when they do wrong things and as a result, children are not reprimanded for their mischief-making.

What are the signs of neglectful parenting?

Inattentive parenting is not always easily recognizable because it consists of inaction rather than actually assaulting the child.

Nevertheless, there are discernible physical symptoms that may give hints that a child is neglected.

These signs can be categorized into three main areas: This is the physical health, manners, and feelings of the client or patient.

Physical well-being:

• Poor hygiene. A child who often goes without a bath, whose hair is unkempt, or who wears dirty clothes may well be abused.
• Malnutrition. Some of the warning signs of malnutrition include emaciated appearance, lack of energy at specific incidences, or recurrent sickness.
• Untreated medical problems. Without proper medical attention or dental checkups it is apparent that the child is neglected by his parents.

Behavior:

• Attention-seeking behavior. Neglected children may engage in negative behaviors to be noticed by the adult they are living with.
• Low self-esteem. Neglected children may have low self-esteem and may even withdraw from other children, be shy, or be prone to being alone without friends.
• Delinquency. Some children may exhibit negative behaviors like substance use, violence, or even absence from home.

Emotional state:

• Withdrawn or apathetic. A child who shows very little interaction with other kids or caregivers, lacks enthusiasm for various events or an emotionally detached child may be neglected.
• Depression or anxiety. Children develop sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety due to neglect.
• Difficulty trusting adults. Neglected children may have problems in attachment, and may not develop healthy relationships with people caring for them.

If you see most of these signs in a child, it should be advisable to tell it to an adult, a teacher, or child protector services.

What are examples of neglectful parenting?

Below are some examples of how neglect can present itself in the different forms that affect children’s body needs, emotional needs, and developmental needs.

Scenario 1:

Alex is a 10-year-old boy who lives with his mother Sarah a single lady working several jobs and rarely spends quality time with him after school.

He cooks his meals with the microwave and spends his evenings in front of the television set.

Sarah is emotionally detached and does not reach out to him to ask how his day went or tell him about something positive, for instance.

Scenario 2:

Linda and Mark are both intensely involved in their careers and constantly busy. In their family, a 5-year-old daughter, Lily, is ignored and she stays all alone.

They seldom sit together for meals, the house is messy and unkempt. Lily wears clothes that have rips or where some outfits are larger than others.

How does neglectful parenting impact a child?

Poor parental care is detrimental to a child’s welfare and psychosocial development, and its effects are not only immediate but can persist well into adulthood.

Here’s a breakdown of the potential effects:

Immediate Effects:

• Physical health. Neglected children may suffer from malnutrition and ill health, may be unclean, and have unfixed ailments.
• Emotional and social development. Neglect and social isolation means the child will grow up with no friendly emotions, will have low esteem, and may not know how to bond with another person.
• Behavioral issues. Children who are neglected might have an impulse control problem or poor ways of handling stress.
• Academic difficulties. Without parental supervision and mandate children may end up performing poorly in school, may lack motivation, or may not be able to concentrate.

Long-Term Effects:

• Mental health issues. Neglecting a child can easily make him or her develop other issues like depression, anxiety, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the future.
• Relationship difficulties. Children who have issues with attachment and trust during a youthful age may lack normal and healthy relationships as they grow into adulthood.
• Substance abuse. When left unaddressed, these feelings may lead to substance use, as they can be used to manage emotions or dull the pain.
• Parenting issues. Children who suffered from neglect in their childhood may find it hard to be good parents to their own children and thus repeat a cycle of neglecting their children.

How to avoid being a neglectful parent?

It is possible to prevent becoming entangled in negligent parenting if one is slightly aware and tries to take necessary precautions ahead of time. Here are some key strategies:

Prioritize quality time. Set apart some hours in a day when the two of you will spend time together with your child.

Be emotionally present. Acknowledge your children’s feelings and encourage them to express their emotions in detail, along with comforting them.

Set clear expectations. Set reasonable behavioral expectations and guidelines for their conduct based on the child’s age.

Maintain open communication. Ensure your child is free to discuss the day with you, their concerns, and things that make them happy.

Use technology wisely. It might also help to employ parenting apps, such as FlashGet Kids in handling parenting responsibilities. FlashGet Kids can assist with:

• Receiving notification and alert for significant activities involving the children.
• Monitoring the child’s developmental milestones
• Providing age-appropriate activity suggestions
• Providing parents with recommendations and tools.

With the help of these strategies and the use of accessory apps like FlashGet Kids, you can be sure that your child is not being neglected and their needs are met.

How to recover from uninvolved parenting?

The process of recovery from uninvolved parental care is painstaking but it is fully achievable. Here are some key steps:

• Acknowledge and grieve. Acknowledge how your upbringing affected your personality and allow yourself to experience the emotions related to it.
• Reparent yourself. Begin cultivating the aspects within you that yearn for recognition. Always give yourself some credit and do not forget that you are important too.
• Build healthy relationships. Establish close relationships with people who will make you feel wanted and loved.
• Consider therapy. One can turn to a therapist in order to receive guidance on how to deal with past traumas and manage one’s emotions.
• Break the cycle. Educate oneself on the matter of healthy attachment and various types of parents in order not to replicate the experience with our children.

With compassion for ourselves and determination, it’s possible to write a new script and create a meaningful life.

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