The balance between authoritative and permissive parenting

Parenting styles indeed play an effective role in kids overall growth and development. There are two common types of parenting styles, such as authoritative, which combines warmth with expectations. And a permissive one that focuses on supportive behavior with fewer boundaries. This starts a debate among people that should there be a balance between authoritative and permissive parenting.

If you’re also wondering the same keep reading this blog. Here, we’ll discuss in detail about both parenting styles alongside their pros and cons. Furthermore, we’ll share with you tips for blending parenting along with their positive outcomes

What is authoritative parenting?

Authoritative parenting is basically a nurturing approach that often skillfully blends responsiveness with high expectations. This approach is common among educated and middle class families. The best thing is that it has been linked with superior child outcomes throughout the world.

Its important to note that the idea of this parenting style was first introduced in 1966 by the developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind. According to Baumrind, authoritative parents share some common characteristics. For instance

• Showing warmth, care and emotional support
• Encouraging independence & logical thinking
• Allowing children to freely express their opinions
• Actively listening to their children’s thoughts and concerns
• Motivating children to discuss choices & possible outcomes
• Applying fair and consistent discipline when rules are broken
• Setting clear limits, expectations and appropriate consequences for behavior

According to a survey report published in PubMed teens who perceive their parents as authoritative are more likely to develop strong self-efficacy and intention toward good grades.

What is permissive parenting?

Compared to an authoritative, a permissive parenting style is indeed marked by high parental support with low expectations. Moreover, Baumrind also says that permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior and avoid confrontation. Permissive parenting usually have following characteristics;

• Inability to say “no” to children
• No consequences for bad behavior
• Lack of structure or routine
• Expressing love and warmth toward children
• Providing support and responding to children’s needs
• Having few or no rules and expectations for children
• Failing to hold limits by giving in to children’s requests
• Prioritizing being liked by children over limit-setting
• Providing little guidance for children when it comes to making decisions

According to a study published in the Journal of Indian psychology kids raised by permissive caregivers tend to have high self-esteem. They may be more resourceful than kids raised by authoritarian parents.

The pros and cons of authoritative parenting

Even though authoritative parenting is considered a more balanced approach compared to other parenting styles. However, for an informed decision here we’re weighing down both its pros and cons!

Pros

• Encourages self-control: First of all, authoritative parents set rules and make their understand why these matter to them. As a result, kids who grow up in such an environment can better control their impulses and make thoughtful choices.
• Builds self-esteem: Authoritative kids feel heard, valued, and supported because parents actively listen and show warmth. Thereby, they develop confidence in their abilities and set high life satisfactions. According to a cross-sectional study of PMC 60% of participants reported nurturing in authoritative parenting significantly correlated with positive self-esteem.
• Nurtures positive parent–child relationships: In addition such parenting indeed allows open communication, thereby kids can share their feelings and problems without any fear.

Cons

• Can be demanding for parents: It’s noteworthy that authoritative parenting demands parents to be emotionally available and have patience. It’s especially true when kids test limits. This may make parents feel exhausted or struggle to maintain a balance.
• Requires consistency and persistence: Authoritative parenting is indeed highly effective because of requiring consistency in rules, expectation and communication. However families with busy schedules often find it challenging which leads to mixed signals for kids.

The pros and cons of permissive parenting

Just like authoritative parenting, permissive ones has both benefits and drawbacks. Dr. Coor once said that kids of permissive parents have more difficulty regulating their emotions and taking the perspective of others. She further added up that these kids are also more likely to struggle socially and lack confidence in their abilities. Let’s have a look at it both pros and cons for a balanced decision!

Pros:

• Creates a loving, open environment: As discussed earlier, permissive approach focuses more on supportive behavior, which creates a loving, open environment. Here usually kids feel safe and secure.
• Encourages freedom of expression: Furthermore, kids have the liberty to make choices and this experimentation fosters creativity and problem-solving skills which are key factors in their personal growth.

Cons

• Lack of boundaries: Permissive parenting indeed give free rein to kids with fewer to no restrictions. This may leave them unprepared to navigate situations requiring patience and have delayed gratification.
• May not prepare children for real-world challenges: While in permissive parenting kids feel free at home, the outside world, however, requires responsibilities of sticking to rules. This lack of guidance may cause such kids to struggle academically, socially or even professionally.
• Substance use: Moreover, because of a lack of restrictions, kids of permissive parents are more likely to indulge in substance use behaviors injurious to health.

Can a balance between authoritative and permissive parenting styles be effective?

Before giving a clear answer it’s important to know that parenting is rarely one-size-fits-all. However, by combining elements of authoritative and permissive parenting, you can create a flexible approach that would well adapts a child’s personality, age, and circumstances.

Why it works

Flexibility in guidance: By blending authoritative rules with permissive support, parents can set clear boundaries while giving their children freedom at the same time. Keep in mind that this balance would indeed help your kids what’s your expectations are towards them without feeling overrestricted.

Enhanced communication: Additionally, when kids are certain that parents would value their opinions with a fear of reasonable limits, they would more openly talk them. For instance, they would discuss their problems, ask questions and put their desired or opinions before them.

Balanced emotional and social development: Combining both parenting styles indeed helps kids develop confidence, self-esteem and self-discipline simultaneously. Thereby making them prepared for real-world challenges.

Reduced conflict: Similarly clear rules paired with an understanding and a responsive nature help minimize the power struggles between parents and kids. This way, instead of conflicting with parents, kids are more likely to respect them and follow their instructions.

How can parents find the right balance?

Now you might be wondering how you can find the right balance between parenting styles that fits your child’s personality and developmental needs. To help you in this regard here are some strategies that you must follow on!

Set clear boundaries with flexibility: Though its okay for parents to set clear rules and expectations for behavior, you have to give space for negotiation. For instance if your kids are asking you for extracurricular activities, let them go but aset condition. Like first complete their homework, and then they are free.

Adjust expectations by age: Do remember! Parenting isn’t static; this approach may vary as the child grows because their needs change. For instance;

• Younger kids (ages 3–6): It’s basically the developing stage where kids are still learning basic routines. That’s why they need they clear guidance alongside gentle supervision.
• Older kids (ages 7–12): However, as kids grow, they can truly handle more responsibility. This way, parents can give them freedom in choosing their hobbies etc, while still warning them about their limits.
• Adolescents (ages 13–18): Teenagers on the other hand, require more freedom, still you should guide them on major decisions, such as managing social media use, etc.

Use positive reinforcement: Instead of just punishing kids on mistakes, it’s equally important to reward them for even little efforts. This balanced approach would give them confidence to try once more, and ultimately, they succeed in achieving their goals.

Regularly reflect and adapt: Similarly, have flexibility in your parenting approach. This is because kids actually behave differently to rules or guidance. That’s why you have to closely monitor and observe your kids’ behavior, like how they are reacting to your set rules.

Real-life examples of balanced parenting

Example 1: Academic success through guided autonomy

Suppose you give your kids the choice of extracurricular activities and pursue hobbies they were passionate about (permissive element). At the same time, you need to set clear expectations for homework, study routines, and screen time (authoritative element). As a result, your kids would not develop responsibility but indeed get good grades too.

Example 2: Emotional regulation and confidence

Create space for having open discussion in which your kids can freely express frustrations, opinions, and ideas freely (permissive warmth). Simultaneously, being a parent you have to provide consistent guidance to emotionally support them instead of judgment or authoritative guidance). This balanced approach would indeed help kids to become self-confident.

Case study 3: Preparing for real-world challenges

For teenagers, you can let them make decisions about part-time jobs and managing their allowance (permissive approach). However, instead of feeling tension-free enforcing rules around safety, responsibilities, and academic performance (authoritative approach). This way kids would better learn about financial literacy while still knowing their parents are available for guidance.

How parental controls can help parents maintain the balance

Though you can adopt the combined parenting approach for to maintain a balance. However a question arises, how would you get to know that your kids are following your set rules, like not spending too much time online, etc.

We understand your concerns, that’s why we have come up with the solution in the form of setting up parental controls. These would indeed offer features to monitor kids’ digital activities. When it comes to kids, you’ll definitely not trust all, it’s advisable to deploy FlashGet Kids, which is the most parents’ favorite app. This indeed allows you to customize boundaries rather than apply rigid restrictions. For instance;

• Screen mirroring: Let’s you see live who your kids are intercating on their mobile phones.
• Usage report: Provides you with a detailed summary report about your kid’s device usage. For instance, you can check how much time your kids have spent on different social media platforms.
• Screen time: You can also set time limits on the usage of individual apps, this way restricting kids from excessive screen time.

In short, parental controls work best when they’re used as supportive tools not tracking tools. When combined with open communication, they help you guide, protect,and empower your child at the same time.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, the way parents nurture their kids varies greatly depending on cultural background, kids’ personality and needs. If talk about the authoritative and permissive style, both have their drawbacks; therefore, combining both would indeed help you adopt a balanced attitude. This would greatly assist in building your kids’ emotional strength and recognizing their responsibilities.

For added support, you can give a try to FlashGet’s kids parental control tool. It offers real-time monitoring making you updated about kids digital move.

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