What is a glass child: Signs, impact & healing strategies for parents

It is an understood thing that if one child needs extra care emotionally and medically, then there is a possibility that parents would overlook the other child. And that child is called a glass child. Apparently, these children may look strong and okay, but deep inside, they just feel invisible. So, as a parent, it’s really important to notice the hidden struggles of your child.

Well, in this article, we will explore what is a glass child, what are the signs, how you can help a glass child, and more. So, just keep reading!

What is a glass child?

A child who feels overlooked and invisible because one of his/her siblings needs more care and attention.

It is often seen that if a kid is ill in the family, parents usually put all their attention on that kid and just ignore others. And, due to this, they often unintentionally overlook the healthy child.

Generally speaking, if a child is a glass child, it doesn’t mean that parents don’t love that kid. No, in fact, parents admire them for being such a good child who understands the situation and is being mature. But parents don’t realise what’s going on inside them. What they are feeling and struggling. They just try to pretend that they are ok, but actually they are in deep sadness.  

According to psychologists, these children are usually stuck between mixed emotions. Yes, they have love for their sibling, sadness for being alone, and guilt for wanting attention. They are just totally confused. That’s why parents should recognise those and care for each kid properly.  

Where does the term “glass child” come from?

The term glass child consists of two words. Glass represents the invisibility that a glass child feels. Apart from this, it also highlights the sensitivity of those children like a glass. And, the second word child indicates that although they look mature, deep inside they have delicate feelings like kids.

Recognise the symptoms: Is your child a glass child?

If you wanna know if your child is becoming a child glass, just look at the signs below, and you will be clear.

• Acting too mature for their age: Glass child usually act more mature than their age, and take on responsibilities he/she shouldn’t, trying to help others at their best, and taking care of their younger siblings. Apparently, it seems like now they are mature and independent, but, in fact, they are just trying to help their parents by killing their inner desires.
• Hides emotions and struggles: One more thing to notice is that glass children usually don’t share their feelings much. They try to always look okay by keeping a smile on their face. Whenever you ask them how they are, they will say, Fine.  
• Avoids conflict: You know, there’s a concept that good children never fall into conflicts. They just try to maintain the peace at any cost. And, on the same pattern, the glass child tries to avoid conflicts. They will seem to agree on everything just to keep the peace.  
• Shows people-pleasing behaviour: Glass Childs tries to make others happy, more than themselves. They will just quiet their fun activities and will choose to stay quiet, so that others may not disturb them.
• Low self-esteem develops: These child often doubt their value. They feel that their achievements and feelings don’t matter at all. They think their needs and requirements are not important than their siblings’ needs. They even just ignore their studies and friendship.
• Feels forgotten in family activities: the glass child never looks so excited about something. Whether it’s a family function or a trip, they will feel disappointed and overlooked.

Explore the reason: why do glass children appear?

You know, a child becomes a glass child because of some hidden demands that parents don’t fulfill. They just pay attention to the child who is ill and needs extra care. In this section, we will look at some common reasons why a move toward this category is necessary. Let’s discuss some key reasons:

• Constant medical or emotional needs of a sibling: As we discussed, if one of the siblings is continuously ill and parents are overlooking the other kid, then that kid will definitely become a glass child.
• Parents’ limited time and energy: Sometimes, due to a busy routine, parents get involved in their work so much that they just ignore their kids. It is also a very common reason why kids become glass children.  
• High expectations: Kids are Kids. Parents should think they have the right to make mistakes. Making mistakes isn’t bad at all. Children learn from mistakes. Parents expect their kids to be mature enough to handle all the things themselves and behave responsibly. Unspoken family dynamics: Some kids are so good by heart that they just understand what their parents are going through, and they use to hide their emotions and start sacrificing for even their basic needs.
• Cultural or social pressures: You know, some families just focus on becoming only strong and strong. They just don’t care what kid is feeling inside. That’s also a main reason of kids becoming a child glass.  

So, as a parent, it’s your responsibility to look for any sign of glass in your child. If you catch it early, your kid will be protected from big mental traumas.

What are the long-term effects of being a glass child?

Now the question may arise in your mind that what could be the long term effects of a being a glass child. Well, there are many effects that children canary from childhood to adulthood.

Emotional consequences

• Low self-worth: In 2016, a study was done, which revealed that the siblings of patient children usually have low self-worth. They just feel themselves less valued idle. And this not only influences their attitude in childhood, but also traces them into adulthood.
• Anxiety or depression: You know, when we humans don’t share, it just starts collecting in our minds. And, our minds feel tangled. Likewise, those glass child who don;t share their feeling and suffer only inside, they become depressed, stressed, and just dull.

Relational consequences

• Difficulty expressing needs: As glass child are used to hiding their feelings, they don’t even express their feelings in friendships or marriages. They are afraid that the next person won’t like what they say.
• Caretaker roles in relationships: You know some people just stay dominant in any relationship and make the next person take care of them all the time. Similarly, these children are always treated unequally in every relationship.
• Trust and closeness challenges: Last but not least, these kids also have trust issues. They don’t trust others and they don’t even trust themselves. They feel invisible and hard to trust. This factor affects their long term bonds.

Positive outcomes

Well, as everything has a positive side,  a glass child also has some positive attitudes. For example, these kids usually have strong empathy for others. And, many of them choose medicine as their career to serve kids, after seeing their siblings suffering in the hospital.  Some become tougher and counsellors because they know they have learned life lessons and understand life deeply.

So, if you get to know how the whole life of your kid can get affected by your behaviour, you will do something before it’s too late. You should offer balanced attention to all kids and just talk to them openly. Families should give kids an equal chance to grow with confidence and emotional safety.

Strategies for parents to support glass children

Okay, now if you have figured out if your kid is a glass child, then don’t panic. There are some strategies that you have to follow to support your glass child. Let’s have a look at the key strategies.

• Give attention: The very first thing is to give balanced attention to all of your kids. Just find ways to make them feel equal. There are so many ways to do it, at a walk, at bed, or at the dining table.
• Encourage open talks: You should just talk frankly with your kids. Ask them if they are okay, how their studies are going, they have eaten, etc. It will make them feel that they are being valued.  
• Set realistic responsibilities: Kids should not be overburdened. Don’t expect them to be extra mature. Just allow them to live happily by keeping alive their inner child. If they make mistakes, don’t make them feel guilt. Kids learn from mistakes.
• Support friendships and hobbies: If your kid has good friends and hobbies, then just support him/her. You know, in friends, they feel free and just let them be themselves. In friends, they will feel inner happiness. Don’t always quote “Be strong”, understand them.
• Use tools to understand them better: In this digital world, technologies have made everything really easy. Likewise, parenting is also much easier than ever before. Because there are many parental control tools available in the market, like the FlashGet Kids app. This app allows you to monitor your kids’ activities. What he/she is doing. What type of content is being watched?

Most importantly, you will get to know what your kid is searching for. And, this is the point where you can get a clue of the mental state of your kid. FlahsGEt kids also offer you to set timing for play, eat and sleep.  Moreover, you can just block the applications that you feel are unsafe for your kid.

• Seek outside help if needed: Apart from this, if you want someone to help you in this case, you can consult a family counsellor or sibling support group. They will help you out and guide you on how to make it possible step by step. So, just relax!

Final thought

In a nutshell, start by recognising, noticing the signs, and paying attention to your kid. If you figure out that your kid has become a glass child, then immediately start following the strategies that we discussed above. Yes, if you will offer empathy, attention and celebrate their achievements, all this will remind them they have equal value as their sibling.

So, there’s nothing to worry about, there are many chances that your kids will grow into confident and happy kids if you make them know that they are equally important.

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