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Gentle yet firm: Discipline your kids with gentle parenting

Gentle parenting discipline is anything but permissive and instead requires patience, mutual respect, and empathy towards your child. It takes a departure from traditional methods and instead directs its attention to the emotional and psychological development of your child. This style of parenting leads to a strong parent-child bond. You can even motivate your child to learn good things as opposed to punishing them for their mistake by using the reward method. So, with this article, I decided to wade the waters and introduce you to gentle parenting. Plus, I will walk you through the fundamentals and provide real-life situations as examples of how gentle discipline works in addressing common challenges.

What are the three C’s of gentle parenting?

Gentle parenting discipline


Without connection, there is no gentle parenting. Meaningful bonding includes developing a strong emotional connection with your child through attentive, empathetic experiences. This creates a better relationship between the child and the parent, knowing their needs. A kid might model a similar behavior or emotional state they saw in their parent. This sort of bond provides a secure backdrop through which the child will feel valued and heard. They will be more cooperative and open to being supported.


Gentle parenting requires communication. These are the same things you use when listening (actively) to further identify your child’s feelings. That way, you can communicate your expectations to them more straightforwardly and politely. What we say to our children makes a huge difference and letting them in on the conversation ensures they do not feel this is just for adults only. Which means it forces them not to hide behind anything. They both understand each other (trust and respect). Moreover, It allows parents to control and stay up-to-date with their children.


Consistency and doing what you say are important in all parenting. It is especially important in gentle parenting. Children feel safer when things are consistent. If parents continue to be consistent in their responses and discipline, children will soon learn what is expected of them. They will begin to deal with consequences. This predictability fosters good behavior and prevents ambiguity.

What are the rules of gentle parenting?

There are various guiding principles of gentle parenting and hence discipline. Here are some pointers to keep in mind.

rules of gentle parenting
  • Respect: Treat children with respect and be considerate of them just like adults. That means accepting that they have feelings and opinions and are their person.
  • Empathy: Listen to what your child has to say, don’t tell them how they should feel. When frustrated, empathy helps identify the root of behavior.
  • The art of positive reinforcement: This means focusing on rewarding the right behaviors rather than punishments for doing something wrong. It has a way to help reinforce positive behavior in children.
  • Consequences: Let children face the logical and natural consequences of their behaviors. This will help them from their errors and that also in a good way.
  • Behavior: Let your actions speak for the behavior you want to instill in children. Children learn a lot by watching their parents. Therefore, you have to be cautious with how you act and respond.

What are gentle parenting discipline examples?

There are a million different things one can do to discipline with gentle parenting. Here are a few examples:

  • Time-In Over Time Out: A time-in refers to sitting with a child, not ignoring them during a traditional isolation time-out. Kids always say that talking about how they feel makes them relax and think through why they say or do things.
  • Problem-Solving: Engage the child to find solutions for their behaviors. Seeing this in turn empowers them and teaches responsibility.
  • Clarity: Provide precise instructions on rules and the rationale behind them. When rules are clear and fair, kids have the opportunity to follow them.
  • Reinforce positive behavior: Any time you see your kid behaving properly, praise them and give lots of rewards so they do that again. From a word of encouragement or token to reward the desired behavior.

How do you discipline when gentle parenting?

Gentle Parenting discipline looks like several main points:

1. Remain Calm & Patient: Deal with the misbehavior calmly. It de-escalates the scenario and also teaches the child good behavior.
2. Understand his Behavior at a Deeper Level: Digger deeper to understand the cause; if you don’t get beyond this step, it is bound to happen again and create more emotional stress.
3. Reinforce Natural Consequences: Let your kiddo feel the natural results of what they decided to do. It can be great for learning.
4. Problem-Solving Skills: Show your children how to solve their problems. This will boost his or her ability to think on an independent scale.
5. Consistency Matters: Keep rules consistent. It will provide a clear picture to your children of what you expect, and that action has consequences.
6. Support & Guide: Offer emotional support and advice NO PUNISHMENT!!! It will of course help children to learn and they have how not to do.

How to gentle parents when a child is hitting?

There are a few methods you can also use when dealing with aggression in the form of hitting.

  • Deal with the Feelings: Understand and address your child’s emotional reaction behind this behavior, or emotions preceding it. Maybe, your child is upset or anxious.
  • Establish Clear Boundaries: You must also let them know that hitting is unacceptable. The whole focus here should be to make them realize that hitting can hurt others and cause emotional stress.
  • Present Alternatives: Teach them other ways to display emotions. It could be words, or even maybe someone to take it out on (in a safe way) such as hitting a pillow.
  • Exhibit Proper Behavior: React to anger and stress calmly and productively through your example of behavior.
  • Formal intervention consequences: natural and logical consequences communicate that hitting is a behavior that will not be allowed. So, for instance, a child who is hitting as part of the play might need to take a break from that particular activity.

How to discipline your child when they don’t listen?

If your child will not listen, then this can be very difficult to deal with. Here are some gentle strategies to combat shaming:

  • To get their attention: Ensure that your child is paying heed to you before giving any instructions. This means getting on their level and making direct eye contact.
  • Direct and clear language: Speak to them in simple words. Leave straight and simple guidelines to follow.
  • The why: Because children are more likely to comply with rules that make sense It is as simple as telling them why your demands or rules exist.
  • Offer choices: Provide your children with some options. This possible solution helps to raise their sense of control while increasing cooperation.
  • Reinforcement: Praise and reward good listening and cooperation to improve these behaviors.

What to do when gentle parenting doesn’t work?

We hit a point during our parenting journey when gentleness seemed to not be working. So here are a few things you should do, if this is your problem:

  • Validation: Attempt to validate that the method you are using is being repeated and used correctly. Sometimes you have to adapt.
  • Help: Consult a child psychologist or parenting coach for help.
  • Be Patient: This is a behavioral issue and change takes time. It Takes Time and Effort.
  • Strategies: You have to be perfect in finding out which strategy will work on your child as not all strategies are going to help every kid due to the mindset. You do need to be open and willing to evolve, trying different things as a parent.
  • Don’t forget about taking care of yourself, too – you cannot pour from an empty cup! As someone who comes alongside people daily, and as a parent this self-care is especially necessary to build emotional resilience.

How should parental controls help with gentle parenting parents?

Role of Parental Controls in Supporting Gentle Parenting:

Parental control apps such as FlashGet Kids, play a crucial role in supporting gentle parenting. It helps parents manage and monitor their children’s digital activities. These controls provide a way to balance technology with gentle parenting principles. It makes sure that children are exposed to appropriate content and have healthy screen time habits.

  • Monitoring & Guidance: Parental control apps allow parents to monitor their child’s online activities. It helps them guide their children toward safe and educational content.
  • Setting Limits: By setting limits on screen time, parents can help children develop self-discipline and healthy technology habits.
  • Encourage Offline Activities: Parental controls can help in encouraging children to engage in offline activities. It can be reading, outdoor play, or a fun family time.

Relationships between parental controls and gentle parenting

  • Boundaries & Expectations: With parental controls, you can reinforce the boundaries and expectations regarding technology use. You just have to stay consistent with gentle parenting principles along with these parental controls.
  • Values: Make sure that your children are exposed to the right content that aligns with the family’s values and principles. FlashGet Kids, for example, can help filter out inappropriate content and promote positive media.
  • Screen Time: Helping parents balance their children’s screen time with other important activities promotes nurturing development.
FlashGet Kids

Bonus: Why is gentle parenting becoming popular?

Gentle parenting is gaining popularity for several reasons:

  • Emotional health: There is a growing recognition of the importance of emotional health. Parents are starting to learn the long-term benefits of nurturing a child’s emotional well-being.
  • Research support: Studies have shown that gentle parenting can lead to better emotional regulation. It improves social skills and overall mental health in children.
  • Cultural shift: There is a cultural shift towards more respectful and compassionate parenting practices. It reflects societal changes towards empathy and understanding.
  • Positive outcomes: Parents are starting to see positive outcomes like a stronger parent-child relationship and well-adjusted children. It encourages others to adopt this approach.


What do psychologists say about gentle parenting?

Psychologists generally support gentle parenting. They emphasize its benefits for emotional development. It aligns with research on child development and the importance of nurturing a compassionate approach to parenting.

Are positive parenting and gentle parenting the same thing?

Positive parenting and gentle parenting share many similarities. It includes aspects like focusing on respect, empathy, and positive reinforcement. However, gentle parenting places a stronger emphasis on understanding the child’s emotions and needs.

What are the consequences of gentle parenting?

In gentle parenting, the consequences are logical or natural. Natural consequences are the direct result of the child’s actions whereas logical consequences are implemented by the parents.

What is another name for gentle parenting?

Another name for gentle parenting is “respectful parenting,” which highlights the emphasis on treating children with respect and understanding.

What are the downsides of gentle parenting?

Some critics argue that gentle parenting can be time-consuming and challenging to implement. It may also be perceived as being too lenient or lacking in discipline by those who favor more traditional approaches.

Why do people disagree with gentle parenting?

Some people believe that stricter and more traditional methods are necessary to maintain control and ensure obedience. This disagreement often stems from differing beliefs about discipline.

What is the most ineffective parenting style?

The most ineffective parenting style is generally considered to be neglectful or uninvolved. When parents are disengaged and provide little guidance or attention to their children, it may cause certain behavioral problems.

What are the criticisms of gentle parenting?

Criticisms of gentle parenting include concerns that it may not provide enough structure or discipline. Moreover, some believe that it leads to spoiled or undisciplined children.

Kidcaring, Chief Writer in FlashGet Kids.
She is dedicated to shaping parental control in the digital world. She is an experienced expert in the parenting industry and has engaged in reporting and writing different parental control apps. For the past five years, she has provided additional parental guides for the family and has contributed to changing parenting methods.

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