Gentle parenting style thrives but where problems lie

Reaching the moon is far easier than raising responsible children today. If the parents are strict, their children may become distant from them. Conversely, if parents are too kind, their children might abuse their freedom. So, there are problems with gentle parenting as well as strict parenting. If you want to discover what gentle parenting is, its pros & cons, and why it is not enough to raise a kid, then keep reading!

What is a gentle parenting style?

“Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.”

– Matt Walsh

Gentle parenting is a model in which children are treated with the same respect as an adult; they have their privacy, and parents have to listen to them. As the name suggests, in gentle parenting, parents must be gentle, kind, and simple instead of harsh and strict.

In this model of parenting, kids get attached to their parents, and it’s the love that guides them instead of fear. So, they treat parents as friends, sharing their problems, even their mistakes knowing that you will not punish them. Gentle parenting raises more happy and responsible kids than strict parenting.

What are gentle parenting disciplines and techniques?

Gentle parenting is based on four main disciplines, which are as follows:

i) Respect
ii) Empathy
iii) Boundaries
iv) Understanding

i) Respect

Respect is a fundamental principle of Gentle parenting, and it is essential to understand what Respect means in this context. Respect in Gentle parenting means:

• Recognising children’s independence and decision-making skills.
• You should listen to your kid’s ideas and feel their emotions, even if you think them wrong.
• Kids do what they see. So, always respect others in front of your kids and also teach them to respect others.
• Parents must never use abusive and hurtful words in front of their kids because when they do up, they will do the same.

ii) Empathy

“Empathy allows parents to understand their child’s emotions and create a safe & supportive environment for a better upbringing.”

Being empathetic means you must become a good listen and quietly listen to your kid’s feelings without being judgy at the moment. This will help kids share their innermost desires and fears, defining how they will grow up to be.

Empathy in gentle parenting involves:

• Being an excellent listener.
• Being open-minded and flexible.
• Apologising when you have hurt someone’s feelings.
• Keep control of your words so nobody gets hurt, even if you are kidding.
• Stop being judgy; just listen and then try to advise them on a good path like a friend.

iii) Boundaries

“Gentle parents set clear boundaries for their kids to help them be aware of the limits for everything they do in their lives.”

This approach includes:

• Presents a sense of safety and security.
• Make sure that your kids understand that they are responsible for their every action, and they may also get a punishment if do something wrong.
• Teach your kids how to give others privacy and respect just like a person gives himself.
• Always explain why you set the boundaries so they develop a conscious awareness of any similar situation.

iv) Understanding

By practising understanding, gentle parents can show kids that they are flexible and ready to change according to their modern thoughts so children feel heard, authenticated, and empowered to express themselves. It involves showing understanding through tone and body language.

Parents who know their children’s developmental stages will be able to give them some supportive freedom that they need to survive in this pathetic world. Some children become toxic as they think that no one understands them and no one cares for them. So, understand your children to keep them safe from such depressed thinking.

Gentle Parenting is not about being permissive but about being loving, respectful, and effective in your parenting approach.

Does gentle parenting work?

Gentle parenting is a good technique. It works well for some children but doesn’t work for those who possess aggression.

Research suggests that Gentle parenting develops a strong and trustworthy relationship between children and parents. Children raised with such care often develop a positive sense of self-esteem as they feel valued by their parents.

However, Gentle parenting freedom level depends on many factors, such as how your kids think, how well you can manage their thoughts, and what rules are in place. If you just give your child unchecked freedom, that’s not gentle parenting; it is spoiling of your kids.

Gentle parenting is difficult to do when your kids are already stubborn, but it will definitely change them in the long term; it requires a lot of patience, maybe for years.

What are the problems with gentle parenting?

While gentle parenting has many benefits, some potential problems with gentle parenting include:

➢Parental guilt: Gentle parents often feel guilty when they can’t meet their child’s demands and don’t fulfil their needs and wishes.

➢Time-consuming: Gentle parenting requires a lot of effort and time to figure out effective techniques. Parents need to be patient and listen to their children’s feelings and thoughts to find relevant solutions, which is difficult for busy parents.

➢Societal pressure: Gentle parents often listen to some critics from others for not choosing traditional strict methods for their children’s upbringing.

➢Lack of discipline: Gentle parenting is seen as lacking effective discipline techniques, as children usually take extra benefit of the independence offered by their parents to them.

➢Permissive behaviour: Some parents let children do whatever they want to do as a sign of gentle parenting, but it’s not right because kids will get bad in the end.

➢Difficulty setting boundaries: Gentle parents struggle to set clear and defined boundaries for each of their children separately, depending on their natures and company.

➢Difficulty with older children: Gentle parenting may be more difficult with older children, as they need more complex boundaries to maintain.

Is gentle parenting effective?

Gentle parenting is effective, but it has some disadvantages. Both perspectives are detailed below to help you better understand whether it is effective or not.

➢Positive perspectives:

Gentle parenting is a comprehensive approach to raising children that emphasises the social, emotional, cognitive, and behavioural growth of young children. Its positive perspectives include:

• Increases confidence.
• Improves relationships.
• Improves communication.
• Encourages independence.
• Better academic performance.
• Promotes emotional intelligence.

➢Negative perspectives:

Gentle parenting is also met with some criticism and scepticism along with its positive and effective perspectives. Its negative perspectives include:

• Lack of fear makes children disobey their parents
• Children become overly dependent on their parents.
• Lack of preparation for walking with the real world.
• Kids often cross boundaries in the name of freedom & understanding.
• Parents overemphasise emotions and neglect other aspects of development.
• Ineffective in extreme situations, such as with children who have severe behavioural issues.

Is it necessary for gentle parenting parents to use parental controls?

Strict parenting can make a kid feel unloved and alone, while being too Gentle also spoils the kid. So, is there no way to have good parenting? Well, of course, it is, and the parents must learn that they must choose a middle path and combine Gentle parenting with strict rules & punishments, which has a better ratio to raising responsible children.

Below, you can learn what it’s like to do gentle parenting with and without parental controls;

i) Benefits of gentle parenting approach without parental controls

Let us discuss this approach with an example. Suppose your daughter or son wants a night out at a friend’s house and being a gentle parent, you have no other option than to understand. Well, you dropped your kid at a friend’s house, but in the middle of the night, you got a call from the pub that they found your kid doing something bad or worse. You will go running there and show them empathy & care.

So, what does your kid learn from this scenario? His parents are easy to fool, and there is no punishment, so it’s okay to do it again next time.

So, every parent must learn a simple truth, “Trust & belief is overrated” no matter how good your kid is, he/she will make a terrible mistake, maybe not in the right mind, but they will.

ii) Benefits of using parental controls in gentle parenting

Now, let us replay the above example but with parental controls. Suppose your kid asks for a night out; you allow it and drop him/her at a friend’s place. But this time, you have set up a geo-fence location limit around the friend’s house with a parental control app, so when they do go out, you get an alarm.

Now, you get out of bed and get to your kid by tracking the location via the app, and you can cancel their night out. Plus, you also grounded them for a week for lying. In this scenario, your kid has learnt never to cross you, and he/she will be careful next time because of the punishment.

So, using a parental control app like FlashGet Kids is very beneficial to raising good children. Some of the other features of FlashGet Kids include;

• Screen mirroring: With this feature, you can cast your kid’s phone screen directly to yours from anywhere in the world and find out if they are lying about something.
• Access camera & microphone: In emergency situations, like when your kid isn’t picking phone or something suspicious, you can access the camera & microphone of the kid’s phone from anywhere in the world and see & listen to what’s going on.
• Location tracking: You can track your kid’s location 24/7, set geo-fence limits, and even see the whole-day history of where your kid has been.
• App limit: With this feature, you can block/allow any app and even set individual usage limits of the apps, like how many hours your kid is allowed to use an app. You can also set mobile restriction periods like school, dinner, homework, etc.

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